byebye.

time to shut everything up.

blog closed. =)

I had a much shorter PE routine today owing to the rain but for some reason or another, there's this girl who was constantly competing with me and yenchun to be at the front of the queue for running. She's so weird.

Hope I get to watch I Not Stupid 2 tmr cos it's princess and the atmosphere just isn't as nice as when we watch it in a theatre, as in a cinema.

I'm surprised to see how I'm leading such a routine life. I wake up, I get to sch, I spend the screwed up day, I laugh with people, I stay in school to finish up work / tkd / go home straight, talk on msn, dinner and bathing, chiong hw, go to bed. That's one day gone. On monday, I groan about tuesday. On tuesday, I look forward to the short day at school the next day(despite the training) and complain about hong lou meng. On wednesday, things start to get optimistic cos half of the week's gone. On thursday, I go home straight after pe and hence get quite some time at home to rot. On friday, I celebrate the arrival of the weekend. On saturday, I get up late and loither on the streets with random people I called up the day b4. On sunday, I have breakfast with my parents and start chionging my week's homework. How amusing. What a mundane life. Eew.

It's thursday and it's time to rot in the bathroom and sing my lungs out. It's where I unleash all my troubles. Some thoughts just don't deserve a place in my mind just like some people don't deserve a place anywhere around me. It doesn't mean I have to change my course of life just because some people are not available. Shoo then, you're not welcome and will never be any time in the future. So bye!

Goodnight. Lots of loose ends at work to clear. =) It's thurday night!

it's a shitty topic and i got worked up over it for no reason at all. Insensitivity is the reason if u want to ask me, but not like you never knew. True, you don't know me and I don't deny it. What a hostile talk that was but I never meant to be polite anyway. I'm just stating my facts and too bad if you don't like it. It's time to bury myself in tons of work and by the time A's are over, I shall then fret over that problem, that's if i still remember it. Time to work, chopchop. No time to think and some people are just not worth those precious seconds. Let it go and get on with life.

Sometimes, I seem so strong in my sentences as I rebut the words I hear with no considerations of how you feel. But sometimes, I get so weak inside when something minor occurs. So much that you see through every part of my heart. I just hope I can stay as strong as I look and sound, as in this entry.

I must never fall.

The talk with Yuxiang today enlightened me quite alot though it just seemed like a casual conversation. We were talking bout the difference between needing and loving and how it is possible to not love but need. The two are so closely interlinked and need is often mistaken to be love. Love love love. The word love serves no purpose on earth. I hate that word.

Need.

Love.

Need.

Love.

No. I don't need love.

is hate not loving or is it a lack of love?

I have my cha guan test tomorrow and I just went for another mahjong session at mathias's house. This time, I won like mad. At a point of time during the game, I won $12.80 from them and it was damn cool. Zx came and lost all my money but luckily we pay for our losses and take our winnings separately. But oh wells, I owe him money so all my winnings went to him. So irritating. Mat's house has good fengshui and that fengshui only applies to me. Wenxiong has bad fengshui there cos he will just lose and lose and lose, like what he did. It was pouring outside and we were just giving excuses to continue playing. Everyone got home at 11plus I think. Not funny, I think I'm going to fail my test tmr lar and that will make me want to drop my lep.

There's this whole load of things to do tomorrow. It's time to prioritise. I should only go out on either saturday or sunday, not both. Otherwise, I will end up like today, having not done my gp article, my maths poyo that's to be handed up and finish studying my lep test. Goodbye to my pass in cha guan.

And I have this fear of being replaced deep within me that's devouring my senses. Replacement by this totally insignificant figure. Why the fear? The replacement will take place some day anyway but I hope it takes somewhat a longer time to come.

Clara played this very nice song on the piano today and some thoughts recurred. Oh wells.

It's just something fun to do and kinda lame and though I'm not particularly interested in finding another half now. It's good to know I can read the criteria list of 8 other ppl. HEH! Sher sent me this. LOL

The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Need to mention the sex of the target. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again.

Sex : Male

Qualities:

1. ultra sensitive. able to read my mind with little hinting from me. i'm not very unpredictable as u can see cos all my emotions are written on my face. but sometimes, i'm not really as happy as i look. I may be saying "i hate you" when i say "i like u". i hate people who stare at u and "huh?" for very long. basically, i hate it when communication breaks down. I will just grrrr and walk away and u are on my miscommunication list. it's my number 1 criteria.

2. chemistry. for his basic interests and things he laughs at, to coincide with mine. its stupid if u keep laughing at one thing and he is so bewildered as to why u are laughing and this in turn makes u feel stupid.

3. gentleman. i do not mean that he has to dress in tuxedos every date or that he has to treat me like a queen but the least he can do is to let me board the bus first, hold the door for me and hold stuff for me. but i find it soooo disgusting if a guy holds the girl's handbag for her, esp when it's all pinky and fluffy. girls should hold their own bags themselves BUT shopping bags are an exception. the handles of plastic and paper bags are meant for guys.

4.  understanding and magnanimous and tolerant and reasonable.. unlike most girls, i don't care much, not that i don't care at all, about important dates to remember and special days that we met and what rubbish. vday, bdays and the anniversary is more than a handful to handle. i don't care what food u like and how many siblings u have in ur family unless u happen to tell me. it's no use quizzing me on ur fav kind of icecream cos I really don't give a damn cos it doesn't concern me. i have terrible tantrums and horrible tempers which require alot of tolerance. to a certain extent, i'm unreasonable and wilful to the extent that most girls are. if he's not reasonable as well and can't tolerate nonsense and noise esp, u can expect a breakup in a matter of hours.

5. cool on the outside, hot on the inside. i'm very fun loving but i have my own fears too. sensitivity comes in place as well cos i hate it when someone reveals my fears. it's just some form of insecurity that has a relatively huge impact in me. he must be able to go crazy with me do things like laughing out loud in the middle of a shopping mall or do a birthday dare such as wearing some stupid hat along orchard road.

6. contactable. due to my lack of company at home cos i have no siblings, i get rather lonely at home and so tend to spend a lot of time on msn and on my handphone. i like it when there's this person you can sms to saying "i am bored." and that person can continue sms-ing u rubbish. msn AND handphone.

7. looks wise, short and has nice facial skin. it's weird but yes, i hate tall guys cos I hate looking up and talking to some giant. it's so irritating when u know there's someone taller than u. okay, maybe it's just me. nice facial skin. i don't know. it's just nice.

8. and the golden rule, he takes the initiative. simple reason, once bitten, twice shy. =)

this has been quite a joke. those i tagged, i will be checking your blogs shortly =D

Fridays are really nice cos it's like the last day of the week and you get sooo motivated to relax and get a good night's sleep. Bah, it's 2am now and I gotta wake up at 8am tmr for some religious activities. Bah, but at least I'm seeing qt tmr! Wahaha.

Had a mahjong session at mat's house with wenxiong and zhengxun and it was so damn funny. Zhengxun was like an exact replica of reynold today and being a total retard and we were just laughing none stop at him. And for the first time, I won all 3 of them, including Wenxiong! Wahaha. I think wenxiong has psychic powers cos he always knows what tile I'm waiting for and he would try all means to prevent me from winning. It's such an accomplishment to beat him. Hopefully, I am able to convince myself to foresake the books for yet another session on Sunday. Whee!

I get to eat pizza and kentucky for dinner tmr! Whee!

It's a happy happy Friday night! =)

I swear i hate these moments whereby I'm so happy and high and the sight of some things dampen my mood so much I turn so grouchy. I know you don't mean it and you don't mean anything. I had so much to say just now and on the way home I was planning what to blog and stuff. Rubbish.

It sucks.

I've been trying to cut down on the frequency of the word 'fuck' that I'm saying but it seems that all that is happening to me is making me say that word all over again.

For the first time in an unknown number of donkey years, I'm wearing long skirts again. Cheers. A rather successful day clad in shu nu clothes. =) The classic tomboy has shed her coat of casual wear for some lady-like fairy-ish outfit, like finally. Haha. It's so bhb but yes, today's a happy happy day!

Mr. Ong's new house is at some donkey-ated ulu-ated kuku-ated place that requires goodness knows how long of walking. My class girls and I were practically melting under the immense heat and swearing at every single step. At last, we reached his penthouse which was quite spectacular and he has nicely reserved the master bedroom as our 1505 roaming area. None of the guys went and so it was a whole bunch of za bors and aunties in that room. We screamed, shouted, took a million and one photos, imagined ourselves to be in mtvs, pretended to be ghosts and what not. It's fun, seriously!

And then, me limin wendy xy reynold mat went to wenxiong's house. Wells, I think our game of mahjong bored the other girls out so they left rather early, leaving me to battle the night with the 3 guys. Nevertheless, I did the female population proud by having a small win of 1 buck. Pathetic it is but it is far better than Reynold and Mathias who lost a couple of bucks each. Yes, Wenxiong won AGAIN. And so, we are getting drinks from him tmr! Wx inherited his skills from his parents who were so patiently standing behind him as he played. I wished my parents taught me like that too instead of shooing me off to do my homework.

I need P and C notes, Chem notes, Econs notes. Someone coach me pls. It's yet another school day tmr, nothing to look forward to.

Goodnight, rest well everyone! It's gonna be a long long time till the next holiday.

It's the 3rd morning of the chinese lunar year and bloody hell, I was awake the whole of last night all because of a cup of coffee. Coffee didn't work as a stimulant for me in my 17 years, not until last night, when it took full effect. I was just rolling on the bed for a few hours and popping my head out to watch the adults play mahjong every few hours. Argh. I have dark rings around my eyes now and I look like a panda. Oh hell. I have a feeling I'm going to fall asleep on the table this afternoon. HeeHee. I'm getting so excited. Bless me with all the luck needed to win those sinful money xiaoying owns. HAHAHA!

My mommi and I are quite fascinated by the fact that we are very similar and that I was a replica of her when she was young. We eat the same kind of food, have the same (bad) temper, hate the same things when we were young and to a certain extent, look the same. You know you look the same as your mommi when some old old relative of unknown origin pops up and EXCLAIMS that you 2 look the same and laughs her head off for the rest of the day. What a dramatic effect. According to my dad, that woman is his mum's sister's friend, or goodness knows what. I just don't know what she was doing at my aunt's house. Weirddddd.

Being almost totally the same in our personalities, it's no wonder my dad thinks he's better off dead. We 2 have quarrels with each other every alternate day, new year as an exception. We quarrel over the slightest thing and I really do get quite worked up I slam the door and what not. Okay, say I'm unfilial and whatever. I can't be bothered. Oh wells. Me and my mommi.

Better go pack my bag now. Going to ong's house first with my class, meeting xiaoying there and then, it's off to wenxiong's house!!!! HEEE!!! And I hope his sister's cooking is edible. Again, wish me the best of luck. HAHA! Xiaoying's money, here I come. =D